The Heart of the Matter

There are somethings in life that we as humans have no control over. The wheather, the price of gas, when that great pair of jeans will go on sale, other people and our feelings

we all strive to change things that we know deep down we cannot change. We want to that one person leave there other for us. We want heidi and spencer to break up. We want the price of gas to go way down.
But the truth is is that we cannot change certain things. Some things are just simply out of our control. And it is our job as members of the human race to not let these things make us crazy. We need to realize that. And embrace it. But on the other hand if you really want to change something…maybe its yourself.
Maybe the answer to getting that person to like you is proving to them that your worth being liked. Maybe the answer to lowering gas prices is not diving two blocks away. The point is- even though we cannot change everything we can still change ourselves. And by changing ourselves I don’tean being fake. Don’t change tour personality. But rather, change yout approach.
Change the way you approach your problems. Sometimes you need to really step back and look at the big picture.
But embrace the things you cannot change. Afterall aren’t those the things that make life. Worthwile?

 

I need someone to catch me from falling

so its been a day or so scince I blogged. So here’s a quick me and big update:

Big is my bestfriend. He is amazing. He has a girlfriend. And at first I thought it was fake. But than last night he was telling me about the almost sex that they have had.

That’s what I want to hear. I want to hear the boy I like talking about the shit he does. So I just Sat there like…..”o wow” but inside I was saying: ” would you shut the fuck up?!” “I want you to be gay. And fall in love with me!” so now I’m hoping he’s bi. The thing that puzzles me about big is he’s so not straight. He dresses gay talks gay.gay looks gay. But he’s straight.

But I do admire the fact that he is honest. Because as much as I hate hearing that. I am glad that he knows he can be honest with me. I would rather be “like a brother” than nothing at all.

Ugh. I need to go. I need a cigarette.

Peace out!
Dashing.

Ps. The numerous spelling errors are a result of the key pad on my iPhone.

 

I’m so in love with you!

okay well today has been exauhsting. I had a ten hour dr appt. Which was crappy. But I survived in my way home I picked up a couple seasons of sex and and the city. Season 3 of the hills and a diet dr pepper. Woo hoo!

Big texted me.I really don’t like it when I try to take my mind off of him but than he just texts me out of the blue. I cannot stand it.

Why can we never get over someone? Why do the people you want to get over have a way of making sure that never happens? It it him that makes the feelings come back? Or is it me that just doesn’t want those feelings to go? I live this boy to no ends, but at the same time I want to stop caring for him so much and move on. Life has a way of messing with you and some times you just need to up with it. Go with the flow. Love who your heart wants. And persue that. You cajnmske feelings go away. And you cant force them. When you find that live for someone dint fight it. Welcome. Love is the best drug in the world. Don’t ever let it pass you by.

well after being up for 20 hours I think I’m going to go fill my lungs with the love of nicotine.
Peace love & extacy!
DASHING

 

Okay well than…Grow The Fuck Up

in life you will always have that on friend that brings the worst out in
you. I’d in my case friends.

My social circle is very judgemental. They don’t like anything illeagle. So you should be able to realize why I would have some friends I would rather not be seen with. I don’t
want it to be known that I am a smoker. Although it pretty much is. I don’t want it to he known that I got a minor. Or the fact that my community got 30 hours of my service for it.

But today I came to the realization. If you don’t want certain. Things to be known about you. Than simply stop. Now as far as my smoking goes the word is out that I quit. Well I didn’t. But everyone in my town will think so. I have quit drinking. I have stopped swearing.

I made a very sad choice today.: I decided to let my “bad girls” go. I want to get my reputation back. The one that I have not maintained.
I have two groups of “bad girls”- one that NO one likes

And the other that few people do. I decided that I am going to get rid of both of them.
After we service our shitastic community.

It will be for the best.
I am shallow. I don’t like to be seen with trashy people and these people are trash.

So tonight I go to sleep hoping that I can salvage some of my reputaion.

Sorry for being so scatter brained. And foe the poor grammar. I am blogging from my new 3gb iPhone.

Love life. Even when you get shit on.

Dash ing

 

Stroke is in the air

fact: non smokers married to smokers are 45% more likely to have a stroke from secondhand smoke than people who are married to non smokers

Oh and another note: the hills season 3 DVD comes out today.

keep it sexy

D-a-s-h-I-n-g

 

And every little part of you is a part of me

Love.-(lôvê)adj. an intense feeling of like.

Well that’s about the worst definition of love that I ever heard. How about:
LOVE- weak in the knees, keeps you up at night, gives you butterflies, makes you jealous, makes you crazy, consumes your mind, a feeling of longing.

The truth is I long to be with big (code- for crush- very sex and the city) he is the olny guy I have ever fallen for.the reason I stay up until 11:11 everynight, He is the reason my heart beats, the reason I wake up every morning, the reason I go to math. He is the one I love.
I have come to terms that maybe we will never be together but theyre is that .00001 percent chance that we could be something. And that’s what I focus on

Another stress. I have to repeat math for the third year in a row.

Okay well there’s a figi water int fridge screaming my name. And a Marlboro Menthol Light waiting to get smoked.

Stay fabulous people.

Dashing

 

this city is a war place of all the young and rich.

My name is dashing. Actually its not. I’m gay. My best friend is the love of my life. He may not know of but I do. I love him so much. He claims he’s straight but I know he’s not. He has my heart and he has for a long time.
What do we have to do to get the one we love to fall for us?
I have done so much. I’ve gone to lunch with him more times than I can count.
I have been there for him through everything.
am I not good enough? Am I not athletic enough? What could I do to change myself for him.

But than I realized something. If I have to change myself than whats the point.
Olat
Well I seriously don’t know. I say this as I blog& from
my iPhone as I smoke a Marlboro Menthol light.

Well I am going to ponder I will blog later tonight.

In The mean time if you like music Lady GaGa “just dance” is bu bu bu BANGIN